Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School (1990)

Worse than having your glove stolen, worse than Chinese water torture, even worse than the earth spinning off its axis and careening into Mars, your mom enrolls you in Marilyn Hotchkiss' program. Not only do we have to wear a tie and jacket, but you have to be polite... and dance... with girls! What Steve and Peter didn't know was that this was to become the biggest day in their lives, because, for the first time, they were about to like girls... —Josh Horowitz